Leadership

Leadership Series – Am I a leader?
This month, I am starting my leadership series that will last for a few weeks. Although this is a brief synopsis of the 12 week class (see side bar for information) I still believe that it is significant to the lives of every man and woman today.

The question is Am I leader? I used to ask myself and undoubtedly my answer for that question is yes. Over the years, I have been groomed in various capacities learning the ropes, leading as naturally as it came while picking up and honing those natural abilities.

What I realized in the process is that people’s perceptions of leadership and mine included, were a bit warped. They were misguided sometimes by unscrupulous individuals and through incorrect perceptions. In all fairness, I used to have the idea that leadership meant position – you have authority, running an organization, being looked up and calling the shots, essentially being worshipped. However that is really not the case. Not the case at all.

When I was in college, I had the opportunity to lead on several levels. Some were one on one while others were at the University level, but then I watched as my leadership gained a statewide and international influence. Leadership had turned out to be something else. At the same time, I became disillusioned with the whole concept. I didn’t like living up to rules and regulations – especially those imposed by the rampant group of individuals I found myself associated with. Even though there were “rules” being imposed on me about what a leader was and was trying to be influenced into some kind of mold, my heart told me something different. So I went with it.

I discovered that leadership not really was about the elite or select few. It was much more than that. It wasn’t about rules and regulations. It wasn’t just about positions, it was about being and fellowship with those who resided with.

What was more ennlightening for me was this: even though I had a leadership position, I had never really learned what leadership was all about. I had seen what it was not. I myself had to work through forgiveness on some of issues, however, after clearing those points in my life, I found out the concept of leadership much different. In this discovery, it was made clear: in order to lead others I needed to first lead myself.

That spoke volumes ot me. I must lead myself, but in order to lead myself, I must first know myself. Hmmm. Knowledge of myself. That was essential. Then one morning as I entered into my meditation for the day, this concept of leadership came to mind:

Intimacy, integrity and intelligence, the three essential components of leadership for any arena. Let me just take on briefly the component of intimacy.

Remember when I told you about knowing and leading myself? Well, the intimacy component is one that deals with that very subject. Intimacy is – “a closeness” – in-to-me-[I]-see, hence the term intimate knowledge. One of the first components in intimacy of leadership is the knowing of oneself.

So often times, people jump, leap or find themselves in positions of leadership without a very sound balance or strong grounding. Without this strong grounding many people falter under pressure, fall into corruption or simply become a figure head in whatever capacity they are in. We see this all over the place. Enron. Congress. Churches. One who is grounded with knowledge and self awareness will be an effective leader. Let me explain this simply: You will treat others like you want to be treated. It is the golden role.

Leaders are not to be worship. They are not idols. Leaders are simply men and women who help to facilitate and empower others into becoming all who they already are. In other words, people when empowered and aware can and will lead themselves.

Everyone’s a leader, let’s get that straight. There are various degree of leadership and abilities. However when you realize that you are a leader and know yourself, dislikes, what you can take and know when to say when, then you are sharpened and seasoned. Seasoned leaders understand this. Communication, expression and reflection for yourself helping you to build and acqure knowledge, leading you to build rapport, having compassionan and love yourself will help you to be and do that towards other people.

You see let me break it down another way. Leaders treat others as they want to be treated. People who are angry at themselves tend to be angry at others. People who are hard on themselves are hard on others. People who don’t trust themselves, don’t often times trust others. That’s where intimacy begins. Knowing you. It’s all a reflection of you.

As you begin and continue to know you, you gain knowledge. Gaining knowledge helps you to understand. Understanding helps you to apply and application of knowledge is called wisdom. This wisdom is more precious than anything else in the universe. Wisdom can unlock doors, and speak to situations that money could never quiet.

Also intimacy coupled with wisdom will bring about a return for respect of your people. When you understand yourself, you begin to realize what others are going through. You treat them differently. So many leaders are harsh on people because they don’t effectively do what they need to: dig ditches and know themselves.

Digging a ditch? That means being getting into the trenches, understanding where people are coming from. The only way to do is to know where you came from yourself and to know where others are going. Intimacy.

Leaders should seek to empower. See where people are. One thing I learned was the fact that people can react negatively, not always to be spiteful, or to cause friction, but they often times feel out of place. Having and developing intimacy wil help leaders to help others in finding their way and their lives.

My challenge to you leaders is to first know yourselves and develop a strong outlook for you. Know your likes and dislikes. Know your limits and recognize when and where to let go control. As you do that you will seek to understand where your people are coming from. If they have your respect, there is no problem gaining theirs. Trust me.

Relationships adn Expectation

We are all after one thing in life and that is relationships. Whether they are good or bad, our desire is to have people in our lives that love us and take care of us. No matter who they are or where they come from, Love is the most opportune thing that they are after and that's all it boils down to.

We discover this when talking and focusing on sex. Men such for intimacy and seek it through Physical means; women seek love through proximity. It's a amazing for both. Men can't always communicate that they want love. Women are more vocal about and it's because our society has taught men to be stringent and closed in with their feelings. This should not be. We need to say how we feel and then deal with it.